10 Ways to Help a Child Cope With Grief

Loss is difficult to comprehend at any age, but it is especially challenging for a child. Their understanding of death may vary depending on their age and emotional development. A child’s grief may manifest itself in both subtle and fervent ways. However a child chooses to express their grief, there are several ways to help them develop healthy coping skills.

Be available to listen, but respect their boundaries.

Reassure them that you’re there to listen whenever they’re ready to talk about their grief. At the same time, there is no pressure to share anything they don’t feel comfortable expressing. Just because they’re not crying or voicing intense sadness does not mean they’re not grieving in their own way. “Children grieve differently from adults. Some children play or isolate themselves in the face of difficult emotions. Allow them to grieve in their own way, but remind them that support is available whenever they need it,” says Oliver Thomson, a parenting blogger at Revieweal and Simple Grad.

Have an honest conversation with them about death.

Don’t lie to them about death. Parents with good intentions often lie to their children about this difficult fact of life in the hopes of softening the blow. But children have the ability to understand more than adults give them credit for. The last thing you want is for your child to have an incorrect interpretation of reality. Lying to them about death takes away the chance for them to build healthy coping habits that will serve them as they grow older.

Answer any questions they have to the best of your ability.

Children have unquenchably curious minds. Little humans are constantly collecting data and absorbing information from the real world. Let them know that it’s okay to ask questions. Answer their questions truthfully and directly. The more they want to know, the more their mind can familiarize itself with the heavy ideas of loss, grief, and death.

Share your own experience with grief.

Providing examples of times when you experienced loss may help the grieving child to come to terms with their own experience. Share with them as much as you are comfortable. Framing grief as an open conversation might encourage them to share their own feelings.

Create a safe space for them to express their feelings.

It is more important than ever to listen intentionally and without judgment to a child that is grieving. Create a space that makes them feel safe to be vulnerable with you. When they share their feelings, validate them. Reassure them that you understand and they are not alone in feeling this way. Comfort and soothe them. Make them feel undeniably loved. Never minimize or dismiss the intensity of their grief.

Provide healthy outlets.

Children cope with death differently than adults. Ask them what makes them feel better when they feel sad, and actually listen. Allow them to do those activities without judgment. If they let you, join them.

Address any inevitable changes.

Depending on who the child lost and their relationship, there could be aspects of the child’s life facing drastic changes. You can ease any confusion around the changes by discussing it with them and answering any questions they may have.

Promote stability with as much routine as possible.

It may be difficult or even impossible to get back into the regular rhythm of life before the loss occurred, but routine can be a stabilizing force during times of uncertainty. “If returning to the old routine is not possible for the child, establish a new one. It can be as simple as consistently scheduling a snack or playtime at the same time every day,” says Hillary Kerson, a writer at Academized and Boomessays.

Teach them to cherish the memory of who the child is grieving.

While most children grasp the permanence of death, what happens afterwards may confuse them. If you have religious beliefs about the afterlife, offer it as a source of comfort to them. Regardless, reassure them that whoever the child is grieving will continue to live on through their memories.

Prioritize your own self-care to model healthy coping skills for the grieving child.

In the event that you share the loss with the child, don’t neglect your own grief. Remember to care for yourself and your own needs first. The way you move through the pain of grief sets an example for how the child should cope with their own loss.

Emily Henry is a writer and editor with a passion for healthy living. You can find her writing at Best Essay Services and Studydemic , and her editing work at Assignment Help .