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If you are deep in grief, sending a thank-you card to acknowledge support is the last thing you should be concerned with.
Grieving people tend to take on unnecessary burdens as they attempt to return their life to some semblance of 'normal.' Putting on a brave, competent face to show everyone you are just fine isn't destructive in itself. This is a common reaction to chaos.
However, when it comes to formalities like funeral thank-you cards, people can go overboard—to their own detriment. So, before delving into funeral thank-you cards, my first piece of advice is this: check in with yourself. How long has it been since the funeral? How much time will your thank-yous take, and what is your exhaustion level at the moment? Sending cards, unlike many funeral duties, can be put off.
Do what's right for you and your family. Send cards of thanks once you have gotten through the first few months of grief.
When you receive a gift, you should be sending a thank-you message. Depending on the size of gift, or the thought that was put into it, you may wish to convey this message in the form of a card.
Similarly, when you receive the gift of flowers, a donation, sympathy or emotional support from someone at a funeral, you can send a thank-you card to express your gratitude.
Many people extend gratitude informally, via telephone, email or text. However, it is a more formal and traditional choice to send a note or card to those who offered condolences in your time of need.
There are several reasons you may feel compelled to send a formal note of thanks. Consider sending a card to people who helped your family in any of the following ways:
It is also good etiquette to thank the funeral director, eulogist, pallbearers and the person who officiated the funeral ceremony.
There is no limit to what you can write in a thank-you card. Long, personal messages may be more appropriate for someone with whom you share a very special, emotional relationship. Treat this type of thank-you as a personal letter, and speak from the heart!
If that is not the case, you don't need to write more than two lines to simply express gratitude to someone who attended your loved one's funeral.
Not sure what to write? Feel free to use any of these examples below in your cards, or for inspiration.
"Thank you so much for the donation in honor of Sheeva. Because of your generosity, her memory can help people in need. She would have loved that."
"It was so kind of you to make a contribution toward Paul's funeral expenses. Your generosity is appreciated by the entire family."
"Thank you for your comforting presence at Simone's funeral. Your condolences meant a lot to our family."
"We would like to extend our heartfelt gratitude to you for all of your help in the final days of Esma's life. We appreciate the care and dignity you showed for her."
"Thank you so much for sending flowers in honor of Merve. They really brightened up our home during the first few days."
Send the card in the mail, addressed to either the recipient, or their whole family. If you are unsure of the correct address, you can send a card to them "care of" a person who will be able to deliver it to the intended recipient. Sign the card from the whole family, so that they know everyone appreciated their condolences.
For many people, a thank-you card seems overly formal. If you wish to thank loved ones, you can reach more people by publishing a message of thanks in the newspaper, or in the guestbook of their online obituary.
If there is no online space to honor the life of your loved one, consider creating one for free on Beyond the Dash. There, you will be able to receive messages of condolences, share memories—and let the story of your loved one be your thanks.
Fill in some information about your loved one, and we'll generate some text that you can use as a starting point for your online memorial.Try now
After creating an online memorial, you can also publish in print in any of over 6,000 newspapers across North America.Get started for free